It is often surprising to young people today when they ask a senior married couple how long they have been together and get an answer like 50 years! In our modern society, nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce, it is not uncommon to be remarried several times. Young men and women who want to create a successful marriage for themselves can look to lasting senior marriages to find the key to staying together.
Focus group questioning of seniors who had been married for 30, 40, 50 years and above has provided us with their answers for what it takes to maintain a healthy and enduring marriage. This list of senior marriage tips outlines some of the principles and habits that are most been useful and effective for seniors to maintain strong marriages, and can also be applied for seniors looking to find new senior relationships later in life after a loved on has passed.
Our senior marriage advice list focuses much on attitude and interaction tips for building an encouraging routine and also warns of potential pitfalls that consume many marriages. There is no such thing as a perfect, effortless marriage. It is a commitment that will always take work and adherence to these principles, regardless of the amount of years you have been together.
- Choose Your Battles Wisely Not every minor dispute needs to escalate to a big argument. Statistics actually show that fighting is an aspect of a healthy marriage, instead of merely bottling up emotions, opinions, and wants then not communicating. Although, too much bickering can create an atmosphere of resentment in the home. Not every argument has to be heated; there can be room for compromise on issues that aren’t crucially important to you.
- Don’t Be Spiteful or Vengeful
There will surely come times when your spouse crosses a line, forgets something important, does something selfish, etc. It can be tempting to hold a grudge, seek revenge, or give a cold shoulder to punish them. Spite cripples a relationship dynamic. Communicating your grievances sincerely and accepting apologies when they are earnestly given can be most effective at mending wounds. Make an effort to resolve issues both respectfully and promptly to avoid long-lingering bitterness at home.
- Jealousy and Insecurity are Damaging
Trust is as critical a factor of importance as love. Many people drive themselves crazy by obsessing over all the friendships and work associates in a spouse’s life, but it is important to stay trusting until you are given a good reasons not to. A little bit of jealousy is healthy—it shows you care. However, obsessive jealously can make life a drudge for both spouses.
- Understand Your Spouse’s Love Language
Everyone expresses love a little differently. Affection assumes many forms, and there are certain romantic gestures that garner a better response than others. The five primary love languages are listed as, “words of affirmation,” “acts of service,” “receiving gifts,” “spending quality time,” and “physical touch.” To an extent, relationships requires giving and receiving all of these things, but you must find out which love language your spouse responds to the best.
- Prioritize Your Commitment to the Marriage, Not Just Your Kids A phrase you hear too often is, “we stayed together for the kids,” and while that may seem noble on the surface, it is not a good mantra for a healthy marriage. Putting your children as the centerpiece of your lives will detract considerable from your prioritizing each other and diminish your quality time together. In addition to meeting your kids’ needs, be sure to arrange for occasions where you can have a life with each other—That’s what baby-sitters are for!
- Kisses May Mend Relationships, As Well As Boo-Boos Kissing one another saying hello and goodbye serves to build intimacy in the marriage dynamic. The morning routine rush or leftover bad moods from recent argumentative can reduce the motivation to kiss, embrace, or be intimate until it is suddenly out of the routine all together. However, allowing this important personal connection to slip away from the routine will hurt a marriage.
- View Divorce as a Last Resort and Don’t Use it as a Threat Divorce may sometimes be the only solution to very serious circumstances; but too many couples these days view the first seasons of unhappiness or marital conflict as an excuse to press the divorce-button. When inevitable issues come up, it may be appropriate to take a moment and reflect on why you made your marriage vows in the first place, saying, “Til death do us part.” Divorce doesn’t only wreck a marriage, but also a family, finances, property, lifestyle, etc. It should be considered as a last resort when all else has failed. If two people enter into a marriage agreeing that divorce is no casual option, then those people might have greater commitment to each other and working out problems.