Many adult children would want to do this for their elderly parent, but not all of them can. We will go over a checklist of factors to consider when deciding whether this is a mutually beneficial move for the both of you.
What Kind of Care Does Your Senior Loved One Need?
Senior care is a very nuanced industry. There is no “one size fits all” approach to elder care. Various conditions call for unique skill sets for monitoring, administering medication, or performing physical therapy or memory exercises. For all your good intentions, it may be a real possibility that your household is simply not qualified or equipped to meet a senior’s extensive needs. So, it is important to consult with a doctor together and determine just exactly what those specific daily living needs will be and whether you are fit to help.
How Much Daily Assistance / Monitoring Can You Provide At Home?
More and more households in the US are dual income, and it is harder for many parents to provide the attention needed for their own children, let alone the serious health monitoring of a senior loved with dementia or other critical conditions. There are daycares for kids while parents are at work, and there are also adult daycares for seniors in many communities, but you will need to sort out whether you or your spouse truly have the time to offer the monitoring you elder loved one needs throughout the day and night.
Will You Both Get Along Well?
Maybe you aging mother or father could benefit from your help, but do you have a good relationship? Not every family is all rosy. Many have difficult issues they are still dealing with internally or bitter unresolved conflicts. You must never feel “guilted” into having to take in a senior loved one out of sheer obligation if your heart is not in it and you cannot emotionally invest in them.
If you do not feel called to make the commitment, then resentment and bitterness can quickly grow, leading to a nasty environment for all. Senior care is very much a team effort, and if you are not emotionally willing to work as a team to reach each other’s goals, then there is no harm in considering a senior care facility, for the emotional and psychological well-being of everyone.
How Senior-Friendly Is Your Home? Do You Need to Make Adjustments?
You may want to help out your elder parent in need, but is your home conducive to the care that he or she will require? Some living spaces are bad for dementia patients or seniors who could be seriously harmed by a fall. Slippery floors, unlocked doors, cluttered furniture. These can all impair the daily tasks that a senior may need for home care. There are measures you can take to safety-proof your home (install railing, clear the clutter, set up door alarms, lay down bathroom mats, etc). So just be sure to sincerely evaluate your home before starting a home care routine with a senior loved one.
Can Your Senior Loved One Chip In To Cover Any Costs?
An advantage to your aging mother or father for moving in with you may be that your housing may be less expensive than a senior living facility—but you do not have to feel obligated to house them for free. Some seniors hesitate to move into an expensive assisted living community because they fear that yearly costs may quickly drain the inheritance they wish to leave their children. So, arrangements of payment for lodging in your home are often favorable to seniors.
As a family, you both can work out the best monthly/ quarterly / yearly finance arrangement to agree upon for moving in senior parents. Caregivers will quickly find that monitoring and assisting senior loved ones with daily living is a “real job,” and it is completely fair to discuss payment for the time and energy that goes into the work and providing the living space.