10 Things to Never Say to your Aging Parents

Aging ParentsfIf you have aging parents who are driving you nuts and giving you a very hard time then you may end up saying something rude to them. However, you must think before reacting to their actions because at their age, they are prone to forgetfulness and stubbornness. Nobody is denying that you love your parents, but often, in times of frustration, a single word, comment or insult tumbling out of your mouth can do irredeemable damage to the well-being of your parents.

Your Dad and your Mom, they are the most important persons in your life and they have brought you up with care and comfort, provided the right education and supported you in times of crisis. With age, they are prone to illness, loss of memory and various other ailments that will affect their cognitive and physical abilities. Your aging parents may commit silly mistakes or grave errors, but you have to cope with such situations.

You have to make certain strong decisions about:

• Whether your parents need help?
• Are they thinking about having any Will?
• What kind of medical attention and intervention do they require?
• Do your parents want to live on their own?

Your aging parents may be slipping away and losing their mind but you need to take control of their life and discuss issues with your parents before arriving at any decision. However, while taking care of your parents or even if you are sending your parents to assisted living homes, you must always keep in mind the following 10 things that you should never say to your parents.

1. Never yell at your parents.

Your parents may lose their memory but you must never yell at them or remind them of their weak memory. You must always be polite and always avoid questioning their memory.

2. Never judge your parents.

You must never judge the actions of your aging parents. Your parents may be doing illogical things and running all over your house incessantly. However, you should try to calm your parents within judging their actions. You must never scold your parents for their actions because most often they do not understand what they are doing.

3. Never speak abusively to your parents.

You must never hurl expletives or abuses towards your parents. Manage all situations effectively by trying to help your parents. If you need professional help to complete the daily tasks of your parents then you may also engage professional caregivers. Assisted living is very common these days and can be the best solution for your parents’ needs.

4. Don’t get upset when your parents can’t work technical devices.

You should never yell at your parents if they cannot operate smartphone, television or computer. At old age, understanding technology can be very difficult, especially with failing eyesight and cognition. You must try to keep things simple and teach new features to your parents.

5. Understand elderly are often forgetful.

Try to never question your parents if they constantly jump from one topic of discussion to another. Elderly often lose track of their thought and they will appear confused in their thoughts but you must always be polite to them.

6. Keep their age out of the conversation.

Never tell your parents they are growing old. Nobody likes to hear concerns about their age, so you too should avoid it.

7. Don’t dictate their will.

Do not express your wish to capture your parents’ belongings upon their demise. Further you should not dictate terms while your parent tries to write the Will because the Will should be a testament of your parent’s wish, not yours.

8. Don’t put them down when they don’t remember family or friends.

Your parents may not recognize you or your relatives so do not force old memories upon them.

9. Do not question your parent’s wishes.

If your parents want to live alone then you must respect their decision. You may also contact assisted living facilities to find out what works best for your aging parents.

10. Do not speak resentful words.
Speaking resentful words can cause your parents to become depressed and push you and other loved ones away. Please make sure to speak respectfully when when you’re stressed and upset with your parents.

3 thoughts on “10 Things to Never Say to your Aging Parents

  1. I don’t think I can live up to this (10 Things Never to Say… ) and treat my parents with the patience they deserve and need because these points trigger my irritation. Not because my parents are intolerable! but because my circumstances are. How can I make their visit as tolerable as possible? They’re coming from out of state to stay with me. I hope I can handle it, for all our comforts sake.

    • Hi Michele! The best advice I can give you is to make sure that your parents understand where you’re coming from and why you may feel the way you do. You mentioned that it’s the circumstances that trigger your irritation, so maybe that would be a great topic of discussion to have with your parents. Good luck!

  2. Sometimes, changing the way you view a situation can change the entire energy surrounding it. It’s easy to get caught up in a negative way of thinking, but your parents are most likely experiencing as much difficulty coping with their health issues, memory problems, and similar age-related issues. Shed new light on your thoughts and the situation, and you may find it a lot more enjoyable for everyone.

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